I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
