Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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