My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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