I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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