I'm sorry my penis didn't work
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
