after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
