you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
