Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's shark week go big or go home
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
