Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
