Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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