So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
