bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
