Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I enjoy the company of your penis
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize