She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
