i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
