I wanna passion pit in your ass
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize