How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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