I wish I could punch you in the face.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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