You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Is this like a preordered booty call?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
