OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
