I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
