I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
