My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize