Too much gin, very little bucket
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
