How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
