I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize