Her vagina should come with caution tape.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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