Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
