He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
