Soap is not a condiment
I faked an abortion last night.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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