good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
