his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize