you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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