we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
