i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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