I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
