I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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