Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
