Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I didn't notice because vodka
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
