I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize