i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
