like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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