you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she told me i tasted like america
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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