At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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