Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
