have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
