Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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