thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
