that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
