Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
