when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
