My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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