Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
