The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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