yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize