either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He did a backflip because drugs
I see more hoeing in ur future
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