Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
