You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize