Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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